I am determined to move to Brazil or Australia by the time im like 25.
I didn’t realize I made you so unhappy. Im sorry.
adventure time automatically makes me think of my boyfriend. i love it.
Aha dito
(Source: ajscanvas-digital)
I don’t know if its your fault or mine. That I walk around an see gorgeous girls and immediately wonder how shitty I look compared to them. I don’t try to sound like a baby when I say that. I’m not fishing for compliments. I just wish that I could walk around like a bum one day an feel prettier than every other girl I see bc you make me feel that way. But that never happens. I plan on going to the gym then stuff happens so I can’t. Like now, when I want to go, I get sick. I want you to want me and only me. You don’t care if I leave. you don’t care if I’m hurt. You want other girls an you’ve always told me that. I just wish you didn’t. I wish that for once you seriously made me feel like I was the most beatiful girl you’ve ever seen an you could never want anyone else an like I’m the only person you see in a crowd full of people..
I feel like I’m going insane. I know I’m not innocent. And I’m sorry for the things I’ve done. I love you. I can’t function without you. I need help.
I don’t know what to do anymore.. why would you want anything to do with her if you know what’s happened in the past.. an then you expect me to believe you didn’t do anything today after I made you mad an you were over by her house.. I’m only lying to myself by believing you.. but if I didn’t I don’t know what would happen.. but I know it would be bad..
I’m so fucking sick of being walked on an when I get upset I’m wrong for it an people keep doing the same shit they know upsets me an expect me to sit there an deal with what they do. An when I do something wrong I’m a stupid bitch who doesn’t deserve even politeness at best. But others can’t even say sorry an they just tell me I’m wrong for being upset. An if I wasn’t upset they wouldn’t do things to upset me. Wtf.
I dont know why I keep trying. I feel beyoond pathetic an worthless. You wont answer my texts or calls. Youll talk to everyone but me. I dont want to be here anymore. You were the only reason I still am. I hope that changes soon..
Its hard to not be walked on when the person you love is concerned about themselves an only themselves.
You get a little taste of the shit I go through all the time an suddenly I wasnt bitching everytime I vented to you.. Im sorry you had a bad day but at least you know a little bit of where I was coming from all those times..
I hold onto something that isnt real anymore in the hopes that itll come back.. Ill never be youre everything ever again.. Im starting to let go of everything now.. Wheres the purpose for anything if it doesnt involve you? You say I have so much to live for but before you I was at my lowest.. Then you picked me up, kissed all my bruises an promised me everything would be fine.. Thats the first promise you made an the last one you broke.. Im sorry for everything.. I just want you again.. I want to be able to see you without crying because I know all the things you do now that im not really around.. I want you to shut out the world just for a day with me like you used to.. I wish everything didnt fall apart.. It happened so quickly the only thing I had as a foothold in life was, ironically enough the thing that made me slip in the first place, you. An thats why I cant just walk away.. I try so hard so you can do the things you want an so this feeling will go away.. Id rather be numb again and trudge through every day until graduation as long as I didnt have this constant pain in my chest that has a phrase all its own on repeat saying ‘see how he acts now, he couldnt ever have actually loved you’ somewhere in my head theres a major glitch.. Maybe im missing some gene that screams at you to realize whats happening in front of you. Or maybe I have an extra gene of choosing to turn a blind eye when I shouldnt.. I know you dont care.. I was so scared an all you wanted to do was scale your shit out.. But I refuse to accept it because if I do.. Thats the true end of us.
NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY
